


the aftermath

by maplegriffin



Series: beneath the zenith of the sun [2]
Category: League of Legends
Genre: Character Study, Feelings, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Minor Character Death, Pre-Canon, sibling feels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-30
Updated: 2019-04-30
Packaged: 2020-02-07 05:40:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18614260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maplegriffin/pseuds/maplegriffin
Summary: before the ever-growing war became a reality, nasus killed one of their own. then he was gone.(or, grief and insanity blur the lines.)





	the aftermath

**Author's Note:**

> hi welcome to this mess. started this like a few weeks ago?? mostly written 23:20 to 00:13, april 25 to 26, 2019 with [Boo](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BootacularCrimson) beta'ing
> 
> inspired by "Twilight of the Gods" (link at the end) and valeeva's line, "You saw the Scholar? ... No one has seen him since he killed Moneerah for delving the charred ruins of Nashramae’s great library.”
> 
> anyways, please enjoy!
> 
> 05/19/19: minor edits

although nasus has been faced with many deaths over the centuries — the millennia he had served the fallen empire — this particular death seemed to weigh on him. the regret or another emotion bows his shoulders and his noble head, despite his earlier apathy. in the wake of moneerah's death, everyone was silent, accusing looks were cast around as if saying, "who will be next?". 

( — he can feel his throat closing up, the shock of tears blurring his vision and hiccups of sorrow trying to burst free, and all he can think of is his brother, lying surrounded by his blood; his dear, sweet Renekton, the face of his child-brother grinning at him from a well-preserved memory, his only family, his younger brother, who he swore to protect and love for the entirety of their lives — however long the gods would give them, love him when no parent could; his brother dead by his hands and nasus cannot take it anymore, he cannot, he cannot, he cannot, so he lets it all go in that _heavyheavyheavy **heavy**_ word that had only been reserved for one person only — )

" _asab_!"

abruptly, nasus had let out a pained cry, a half-sob that some would recognize as a bitten out title, a " _little brother_ ", and immediately know that it wasn't directed at the corpse of the fallen ascended. it was for nasus' younger sibling, perhaps reminded by moneerah's gleefulness at nashramae’s ruination and the vicious way he had delved into the chaos. how if renekton were here now, perhaps it would be his body that lays before his elder brother at the site of their legendary standoff. the void had scarred many, but the mental tortures of the war would have been frightful in the likes of renekton if he were here now, known for his ruthlessness and bloodthirst. 

( — he takes a few deep breaths, the simple act of dragging air into his lungs is body-wracking, the silent tears streaming down his face, dripping, slowly, ever so s l o w l y, slowly, just like his near-immortal life has felt since Renekton is gone, he is just barely standing up most times because Renekton was everything to him, despite all their disputes and disagreements, and he hates that their last conversation was of that nature; _asab_ saying something hot-headed and stubborn, already convinced of his choice, nasus disagreeing, pleading for a different way when there truly was none, none, no hope at all, desperation staring at him in the face and he hates himself for the fact that he agreed, sacrificed his precious _asab_ to the betrayer, trapped them together for all of eternity — )

the jackal-headed ascended was quiet, the rest of the host that is around all caught in his silent tension. ta’anari, ever so respectful of his elders, remains soundless, letting the grief of the scholar permeate the air. valeeva would have sneered and mocked — nasus may have been tolerable but still a prideful elitist — if it were not for the fact that she knew the pain of losing a sibling. hers' was unknown to her, had journeyed to distant lands despite her pleas. the madness she found herself in after was unrivalled by anything she had ever experienced. and zigantus had read the mood for once, thankfully. his bull-headed speech would not have been welcomed, the confident way he shouldered into everything would have been met with the cold, indomitable wall of sorrow or irritated golden blades at his throat.

even the insane raven twins had paused their constant muttering, eyes shifting back and forth, words wanting to spew from their beaks but knowing that the noise could mean life or death from anyone. shabaka wanted to see if the always calm jackal would roar with frustration and turn on them with death on his fingertips, to see if a far-fetched vision will be true. 

shabake was torn, in her broken mind, she recognized that the man she had looked up to as a mentor and some sort of guardian was defeated, destroyed, tangled in unmourned grief and trails of sorrow. then there was the jealous, darker part of her that was always jealous of the brothers, or more specifically, renekton. 

how nasus would immediately focus his attention towards his brother, despite no tells that the human eye could pick up. but she saw it, she saw enough, her brother may be the more gifted seer but she was the one who knew how people work, read body language as easily as shabaka read sweaty palms and aged bones. it was in the twitch of his ear, slight curve to his mouth, the proud aura that he takes on. that part, that envious craving for nasus' attention and love wonders if she could take renekton's place. it was a thought that she never would have pondered about before, never would have even considered crossing that line. but now is not before and shabake is every bit as driven out of sanity as her other half, as the withered moneerah. 

she faintly wonders if nasus will leave now, the ascended had a resigned hatred for fighting, violence, taking a life. and when he did so, he usually disappeared for hours upon days on end if he was not needed, dragged out by his brother from where he was holed up when he was. she wonders how long he will go for this time, with moneerah's death and the pain of renekton's entombment resurfacing - 

_— there is a flash of lavender flame, of warm gentle browns with the scent of death and someone's darkness holding a morbid form together, a pain in the spine with sorrowful acceptance. there is a sense of plans falling into place, the joy that the darkin will soon fall. with hushed words and the refusal of half-hearted condolences floating in the background —_

_— then there is silver, bright, bright, bright silver, gorgeous moonlight smiting them, the knowledge that it is finally, _finally_ , their end, the gleeful cackle that they share, vaporizing feathers and fury white pain, then there is — _

( — he wants to leave now. the others will start fighting again soon. he wants no part in it. never has, never will. he is tired. he wants to float into the winds. let it carry him away from the emotional burden that feels so physically heavy. the sudden breeze is a blessing. it feels cool against his fur. icy as the screaming hunger of the icathian underground on the tear tracks on his face. he takes a step. another. then another. the other foot. another for balance. right. left.

right.  
left.

right.  
left.

right.  
left.

 

a scream pierces his fogged consciousness.

 

" _nasus_!"

 

he pauses, head tilted slightly back. the voice sounds clearer than he had heard in centuries. 

 

"come back,"

 

the voice is strong. youthful despite the ages of use. he can hear the quaking signs of instability. 

 

"please."

 

his heart breaks even more. her plea is soft, carried across the silent expanse. he knows if he looks back, he will give in.

so he does not.)

 

and then he is gone. just like she thought. the dancing wind and swirling sands swallow him whole, leaving behind his legacy and hope, leaving them with their violent destruction and twisted dreams, with their pettiness and oh-so-human minds trapped in godly, beastly forms.

she laughs, laughs, because what else is there to do? irony speaks for itself and she wonders what the humans see them as now; them who were once human, living long after their time, reforged by the revered sun into something monstrous and with the appearances and personalities to match. once worshipped and blessed, now accursed and feared. perhaps all except one. the one who gave up on them. or maybe it was them who gave up on him.

something tells her that she will never see him again. the rising silver crescent has never felt so mocking until now.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading. kudos/comments/constructive criticism is welcomed. have a good one.
> 
> now, onto nerdy stuff
> 
> timeline: [for more in-depth](https://leagueoflegends.fandom.com/wiki/Timeline)
> 
> my refs:  
> [Nasus](https://universe.leagueoflegends.com/en_US/story/champion/nasus/)  
> [Ascended: Shurima/Darkin](https://leagueoflegends.fandom.com/wiki/Ascended)  
> [Where Icathia Once Stood](https://universe.leagueoflegends.com/en_US/story/where-icathia-once-stood/)  
> [Twilight of the Gods](https://universe.leagueoflegends.com/en_US/story/twilight-of-the-gods/)  
> [The Void](https://leagueoflegends.fandom.com/wiki/The_Void)
> 
> once again, thank you for reading!


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